"Lord, I was born a ramblin' man
Tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the best I can
And when it's time for leavin', I hope you'll understand
That I was born a ramblin' man"- The Allman Brothers
Standing at the crossroads is always an anxiety inducing experience. Choosing a path always means sacrificing another, and yet no growth happens without it. Once again I have come to a place where I must pack my bags and move on. It's always sad leaving the familiar behind and moving into uncertainty, yet this is evolution at its core. So once again it is time for leaving.
This last year has been one of incredible growth and maturation for me. Honestly feel as if this is the first time since I was a child that I have had so much optimism about the future and my place in it. That being said, it has been a hard year, Death came too often, loss and faith became my zeitgeist, the world of patriarchy is in total disarray and it is NOT going down alone, uncertainty is the new average. Despite the unrelenting horror of the consensus reality, I have found my inner light and dared to begin showing it to the world, and I have received Philosophers Gold in return. This year I have found a renewed relationship with familiar spirits, met many other wonderful lights shining forth, and discovered the indwelling magic that I have always had.
There are far too many people to thank them all but a few notables stand out and I feel I should mention them individually. First of all, my wife, Shining Star of Love, Misty Dawn, I couldn't make it without you, but this year you gave me the gift of possibility, I am forever in your debt. Secondly, my Brother Jeff, you are the only other one who was "there, way-back when", I Love You beyond words. Aidan Wachter, I feel as if you are a long lost soul brother, More often than I can count your words struck a chord, I wholeheartedly look forward to our continued acquaintance. Flint Fancy, my Soul Sister, we far too close to see each other so rarely, but I treasure every moment. Recently I have met other wonderful people doing amazing things, to all the new members of Black Moon Lodge, Prosit! Last but not least thank you, Kash Mira, your random gift restored my faith in humanity.
Down in the graveyard, I leave my tributa por Santisima Muerte, I will miss all those I lost this year. Most notably my Grandmother, my root, green muse, and giver of unconditional LOVE, the pain of your passing is negated by my love for you. Enjoy the Summerlands, mein Großmutter, your are a light in the darkness. My mentor in so many ways, Wesley Nations, you are still me teaching through your words, I feel honored to have known you. Peaceful journeys brother, you will always be part of Mi Familia, this hole is gonna hurt for awhile. Back to the Crossroads.
Sometimes the hardest thing to give up is self defeat, in a world that tries to rob you of your light at every turn, giving up is just too damn easy. This is what the "civilized" world teaches, us to be afraid, not cautious; insecure rather than self-reliant; that we are isolated, not part of a community, this is all false.Nature herself teaches us that we are all connected. What affects part has an effect upon the whole. So here at this crossroads I leave behind Convenience Culture and the Soul Death it hides behind a veil of Stuff. Good-bye to snuff films masquerading as news, to value menus that offer sloth and gluttony, to the soul sucking that we call the Engines of Commerce. I turn my back to thee.
Now, I embark upon a different path with companions, virtual, spiritual and corporeal to share the journey. My seeds have been planted, and my roots sustain me. My greatest Love of the year aside from my Soul Twin, Misty Dawn, has been Dirt. More than a goddess, generative and nurturing like a mother, and giving like a lover, she sustains us all. I am completely and utterly enthralled with her presence. Yes I love Dirt. Her smell, her feel, her warmth all excite something ancient within me. All of her children have also caught my attention. My brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, and cousins, live amongst more than human people; animal people, tree people, rock people, plant people, and even land spirits, are all part of Mi Familia.
My seeds are developing roots. When I remember times in the garden with my Grandmother, I recall her stories. I know now that those charming superstitions were folk magic from long ago, some of them stilled used by Hoodoos today. Folklore and fairy tales from her ancestral home, Germany. Often I wonder if when she called me a "heathen", if this wasn't passed down to remind us of our roots. How did that start and why? She told me about the myths of the "Old People", but she was a devout Methodist. Ancestral memory is a funny thing and like all seeds it grows differently depending on the medium. When an elder passes, everyone in their community keeps a different aspect of that person alive within them, in this sense we become elevated beyond what we once were. We become amplified.
I dwell in a strange cultural crossroads, inheritor of ancestral wisdom from Northern Europe, nurtured by Santeria and Hoodoo, blossoming into a personal gnosis that is as transcendent as it is pragmatic. It keeps coming back to the plants, which is what this all about, plants. Metaphorically I have been planting seeds, but literally I am preparing seed cups, gathering seeds, and planning my forest garden. It is not my first foray into gardening, but this time I have different allies and much different intention.
Hopefully by fall I will be offering a unique line of whole herb products from seeds to roots and everything in between. I assure you that if all works out you will not find many products like mine. every step of the process will be done with intention and attention. Intention to produce the most potent herbal materia magica, whether for physical, mental or spiritual wellness. I will achieve this through attention to herb lore, Kraut Kraft, astrological, and magical associations. Many of you create herbal products with these intentions, perhaps I can provide you with raw material that has been as carefully grown. Just planting a seed.
And finally I leave you with a few links to one of my favorite subjects, Santa was a Shaman:
SIBERIAN SHAMAN ORIGINS OF SANTA
SHAMANIC ORIGINS OF SANTA