Sometimes life just takes off and one must do their best to stay in stride and still take time to stay in alignment. After spending so much time charging sigils and working elemental rites on top of my other various and sundry workings, banishings, bindings, lunar rites and so on, the seeds of my labor are bearing fruit. Firstly my Water Elemental Rites are revealing much, I had interesting experience with others on the internet, went through some intense dentistry recently, my spirit guides are nudging me onto new projects, and I have begun to a clearer picture of my new working model. So now, on with the show....
Water WorkingsThis spring has begun with more than its fair share of emotional tests. Definitely stand by my decision not to work the elements in the typical conjunction with the seasons, and also to start on cross-quarters rather than the traditional quarters. Everything seems to flow together into one confluence, hopefully I can ride this current without it turning into a flood. My elemental still eludes me, but I think I have felt its whiskers across my feet. The water will not be enough, I must get down into the mud. the psychic sludge that feeds all my avoidance issues. I am finding pranayama and mindfulness meditation to be particularly effective so far, but the final plunge has yet to be undertaken. Next stop, the murky bottom.
OcelotIn the midst of some heavy soul searching concerning my worthiness to be a spiritual advisor, I had the following interactions with Ocelot over at The Serpent and The Foxglove. First I responded to this post. Go ahead and read it and my comment below. This went on to this mention in another post:
On the other hand, as Tao Jones so wisely said in his comment, "The glib response is to say, 't's all for a purpose' but I won't bullshit you with that stale Judeo Xtian surrender." Sometimes defeat is just that. It's not cleansing or making room. It's just failure. And that's what scares me - that it's time to sell the tack and the horse and just get back on the boat, and I'm just not accepting that.
I must admit I felt somewhat honored to know that a few words to a stranger that seemed to be riddled with the same self doubt that I had recently experienced had made an impact. But Universe and Ocelot had more to teach me. That became apparent when I read this:
Better Pissed Off Than Pissed On, Or Why Tao Jones Is Right.
That is the title of Ocelot's latest post. I felt a lump in my throat. On one of the hardest days I've had in a while, when all the death, illness, self doubt and depression threatened to overwhelm me this post came like a lifesaver to a man about to drown. These words spoke straight to the center of my being:
And I looked at Tao's comment again, him saying he believes in me, and thought, how? He doesn't really know me. But maybe he does. Maybe Tao is a little smarter about me than I am, right now. Maybe he's right, and the thing to do is dust off my sandals and keep moving toward where I'm really supposed to be.
I realized that I gave the advice I most needed to hear to someone else and in the process helped myself. I am a spiritual advisor even when I am not trying to be. This is in my blood. The water of my life.
Trance Zen Dental Omissions
I wish this was exciting as the title suggests, but it is not, sorry. I have lost three teeth and under gone the first of three root planing procedures, almost as gruesome as it seems. That is unless you are me and spent years neglecting oral hygiene and then the relief from pain is so great that any pain endured in the actual procedure is mitigated. I can taste food with more depth and pleasure. My breath has had its offensiveness cut in half. This is not really magical, its work, but then again so is magick. Where this has affected my magick is in the new found self confidence I have from reclaiming myself. I fell into the abyss and have lived to tell the tale, perhaps that is why the final plunge into the murky depths scares me, when I fell in, I nearly died. Hopefully this time I have prepared myself properly with just the right magical techne to get through.
Whispers in My Ear
During a recent self blessing ritual, working through my pranayama, I felt an itch in my ear. As I entered a trance state, I heard whispers. Through out my meditation, I heard whispers. All of them urging, nudging, suggesting. So after listening to these gentle hints in the breezes of spring, I have decided to rekindle my interests in the Hedge Witchery of Wales, and Celtic Hedge Witchery in general, coupled with deeper studies in the realms of hermetic-ism. These spirits that guide me are trusted allies and their gentle persuasions usually yield the sweetest fruits, so off I endeavor.I shall as always, keep you apprised of my progress.
The Latin for New Dawn, and that's how I feel right now, as if I just awoke from a long winters nap and the vagaries of spring are in full bloom. All the fauns and satyrs are afoot. The earth opens. I seem to be formulating a model and plan to use as a template for healing. Those plans will start small and grow. For now I must concentrate on my pranayama and shamatha. New workings, new sorcery, more necromantic transmissions, and renewed outlook. The future looks bright indeed, right on the other side of the murky depths.