So as you may recall from my previous post on the subject, my first series of fire workings yielded mixed results. I've known that I am more of an Air witch than anything else, but honestly fire left me feeling cold. Then the "elemental" that presented itself to me left wondering if I was doing something wrong. In true Sorcerer fashion I decided to dig deeper, and what I found was astounding.
Many years ago I had my Medicine Cards read. One thing that I remember is Mother Bear presented herself with the message that I needed to work on intimacy issues and learn to trust and surrender myself to love, eight plus years later and I am still working on it. That was what Fire was teaching me. Until I came to terms with my intimacy issues and learned not to use dysfunctional behaviours to garner attention, only then would I progress. As fate would have it, that is exactly what happened.
As Imbolc approached, I realized that my fire workings were coming to an end, I was grossly unprepared. The weather and scheduling were rapidly converging on a ruinous path counter to my bonfire plans. A different working had to be conceived. I decided to combine my Sigil-A-Day 2014 (more about that forthcoming) working with New Moon/Black Moon, Imbolc and Fire Elemental workings all into one ginormous three day ritual marathon. The workings themselves are much too long and specific to go into here, but if you want more info, PM me on Facebook (friend me.) The final result of this being hypnagogic revelations about the exact nature of my wounded ego and the many emotional manipulations I use to protect it. Instead of healing I was spreading my illness to others around me by being an emotional bully. Acceptance of these facts, released a large blockage in my psyche. Their will continue to be many workings in this area of my path.
Air was easy, like Sherlock Holmes I too have a Mind Palace, except mine is a tree house in Elfhame. My natural Mercurial nature leads me to be somewhat of a mental masturbator, so I was already familiar with the territory. Fire, however really challenged me and lead to some fairly deep healing. Out of the two elements I have worked with so far I believe Fire will ultimately prove the more significant working. I have begun to burn away some seriously old and unnecessary blockages to my Great Work, I feel more in tune with my True Will than I have for sometime in my life. This is old Magick.
On the final night of my workings I had a magnificent dream, involving a bear that transformed into a snake. In my previous workings, a spirit presented itself to me that I mistook for my elemental. This being appeared to me as a bear. In my dream, this bear came to me again, and announced that it must shed its skin, so that I could see its true form. The bear stood up on her back legs and split apart, in her place an albino rattlesnake hovered. The snake spit out fire and all the colors of the rainbow danced upon her skin. Then locking her gaze with mine, told me that I was ready to proceed, nothing more. Then ouroboros style, she inserted her tail into her mouth and proceeded to eat until she blinked out. That was it, except that now I continue to see how my damaged psyche has caused me to harm others. I have much work to do, and I believe I may have been called upon to be a vessel of service.
The shores of water have been pleasant so far, but I know that as I plunge into the depths, and as each set of workings builds upon the past, there will indeed be monsters with which I must contend. I shall as always keep you informed. Below I have included a picture I made of the Fire Elemntal based upon myimpressions of her.
No comments:
Post a Comment